Since I spray ink to confuse predators...

Like most folks, I spend a large portion of my day dealing politely with people who say "Although I've never met you, or know you only peripherally, I am driven to shower you with gifts. Please give me some indication what form these gifts, so numerous and expensive, should take."

Worry no more, strangers: Octopus Jewelry. I don't mean pendants and whatnots designed for invertebrate formal occasions. I mean jewelry made with real octopus. I'm not kidding. Take a writhing tentacle, subject to some unspeakable alchemical process, voila.